Matthew Staley called to priesthood after focusing on being a man of virtue
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August 9, 2023This article appeared in a recent edition of The Lumen, the Diocese of Sioux City's bi-monthly newspaper.
By RENEE WEBB
Content and Design Coordinator
Before Matthew Staley sensed he was being called to the priesthood, he felt a call to virtue.
“I felt called to be a better man and I knew that the faith was the way to do that,” said the new seminarian studying for priesthood in the Diocese of Sioux City. “I wanted to grow closer to God and live my life in accordance with how God would want me to live my life.”
A native of Charter Oak, Staley was a member of St. Boniface Church in his youth where his parents led the youth group, which is now in church building status. St. Rose of Lima Parish in Denison is now his home parish. His parents are Rick and Julie Staley. He is the youngest of four children. The oldest sibling is Alyssa Herbold of Kingsley, who has four children with husband Phil, followed by brother Ryan and his wife Monica of Eden Prairie, Minnesota and sister Katie of Council Bluffs.
After graduating from Charter Oak-Ute in 2014, he attended Iowa State University in Ames to study civil engineering, graduating in December of 2018. In early 2019, he started a job at Burns & McDonnell in Kansas City, working for them in their energy global practice as a civil engineer.
Who am I?
“When I moved down to Kansas City, that was the first time in my life I had been somewhere where no one knew me,” explained Staley. “It was the first time I was really out on my own and I had that moment when I asked, who am I and what kind of man am I going to be.”
That’s when he had what he called a second conversion.
“I was always a practicing Catholic, but after graduating college I had a recommitment and started striving for virtue,” said the seminarian, who credited the ability to do that not only to God but also a good men’s group in Kansas City.
He spoke of a large Catholic young adult community in Kansas City called A City on a Hill for people in their 20s to 40. Various apostolates from men’s groups to women’s groups and sports leagues are part of that young adult ministry. It was through A City on a Hill where he found a men’s group – Band of Brothers.
“Through that men’s group I found brotherly love,” said Staley. “It was really neat to see what that group did to my heart. I really helped me grow to know and love God better.”
Much of his first two-and-one-half years at Burns and McDonnell were spent traveling around the country helping to design and build solar power plants.
He lived for three months in northeast Kansas, six months in southern Indiana where he really connected with a young and holy priest, southeast Texas for three months where he tried to establish a young adult group and then he was off to Wisconsin where he noticed how busy he was and how much that hurt his faith.
Need for community
“I was still practicing my faith and trying to grow, but I could tell I was too busy with work and was overwhelmed,” said Staley. “The project was successful but after that I said I was done moving around the country because I needed my men’s group.”
He knew there was not only a need for God, but a need for community.
After returning to Kansas City in January of 2022, he noted that’s when a more defined path to the priesthood came into view. Staley noted he went from a 60- to 70-hour work week to 40 and that made him feel as if he was “holding this whole pile of available time” and didn’t know what to do with it.
Not wanting to misuse the time, he gave it to God and started attending weekday Mass twice a week and doing a holy hour in adoration once a week in addition to attending the men’s group.
In time, he was challenged to partake in Exodus 90 – a prayer cenacle for men consisting of intense prayer and fasting for 90 days leading up to Easter. Staley referred to it as “Lent on steroids” as some elements of the challenge include cold showers, no alcohol, no desserts or eating between meals, no television, only computer use for work/school, intense prayer and more. During this time, the small group participating together would read the Book of Exodus.
A dating fast
While not part of the challenge, Staley opted to add no dating to the list.
“I had put dating really high on my priority list. But I felt a call to put dating to the side for a bit and just focus on God,” noted the seminarian. “I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, but I was always looking because I wanted to get married and have a family. It was too much of my focus and I knew my focus should be on God not on something else.”
In setting aside his pursuit of a wife during that three-month multi-faceted fast, Staley said love in other areas – of his parents, family, friends and co-workers – “shot through the roof.”
“By the end of the three months I was having so much fun just chasing after God and loving people along the way,” he stressed and at that point he wondered if God was calling him to the priesthood. “It got to the point where I had to ask God, ‘What do you want me to do? I realized I had never asked God what his plan was for me.”
From there he found a spiritual director who helped him to discern God’s will in his life. It became a common practice of his to attend daily Mass and after Communion ask God for wisdom to know the Lord’s will in his life and the courage to follow. Through advice of the spiritual director, last summer he set a decision date of Christmas as to whether to follow a call to the priesthood.
Having been affiliated with several dioceses, he then discerned which diocese to study with and serve. It took little time for it to be clear that God was calling him for service in the Diocese of Sioux City.
Inspiration and support
By Christmas he had told his whole family he was going to apply for the seminary and they were all very supportive.
“I’ve been blessed by a very faithful family over the years. My mom’s side of the family are Baptist and they are such strong, faithful Christians – it is amazing. Dad’s side is Catholic,” noted Staley, who mentioned his mother converted to Catholicism. “There is such strong faith in the family – generations and generations of faith.”
Several young priests who are striving for sainthood have provided inspiration to Staley, giving him an example of “what I would like to be.”
In mid-August he will begin studies at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary near St. Louis, entering the propaedeutic stage – the first stage of seminary formation that is designed to provide a basic groundwork they need to engage in priestly formation. It is intended to build a strong foundation of human, spiritual, intellectual and pastoral formation.
Staley said some of the discipline acquired through Exodus 90 will be helpful in this stage of formation.
And as far as being called by God to the priesthood, the seminarian said, “God loved me into it. He loved me into serving others, loving his people and loving his church. I fell in love with that. The more and more I attended Mass and spent time in prayer – though it was hard at times to stick to it – it became more and more evident I really love doing this.”
